Accepting Yourself

I haven't been very accepting of myself lately. Whenever I get into that circle of thinking, it's never good for my body. The last couple of years have been a whirlwind of change for me. My husband and I relocated, I got a new job, my yoga practice has dwindled. I was in tip-top shape when we relocated two years ago, but everything I had worked for the previous two years, healthwise, is gone. I've gained weight, I haven't had a regular exercise program. I'm depressed. I have to pull out of this.I haven't been very accepting of all the change I put into motion.

49th birthday under the Golden Gate

We moved to be closer to my parents and spend some quality time as they move into retirement. We've had a good time reconnecting with friends in the area, enjoying the sun and life in Southern California. Having lived in Northern California for 15 years had really put a damper on my tan! So much so, that I actually had a vitamin D deficiency when we moved down here. Now that I get out in the sun on a regular basis, my vitamin D levels are normal again. So the changes were good, but I didn't continue with the good things I had brought with me; a regular yoga and exercise practice.

I must accept the fact that I'm getting older and the changes that come along with that. This doesn't mean things have to get worse, I just need to do things differently, accept what I can do and move on. So the next step is to do what I can do. Here I go, discovering what I can do! Whoo-hoo!!!!!

My inspiration for today's blog is: http://www.dailyom.com/articles/2012/34829.html

Doing nothing but eating my husbands cooking!

Staying true to my blog name, I literally did nothing in the making of this soup. Ok, I ate my husband's Chicken Tequila Tortilla Soup, that was my contribution. The tequila is the newest dimension he has added to this recipe. He has been working on this for six months, I have been the taste-tester. It is fantastic and probably my favorite. It is smokey with layers of flavor and the fresh avocados give it a creaminess with each bite. Of course, I could eat Mexican food every single day of the week. To top it all off it's really healthy. I just don't understand why he didn't serve it with shots of tequila on the side.

Boyd Ritner's Chicken Tequila Tortilla Soup

1 Chipolte Pepper in Adobo Sauce finely chopped
1 1/2 T of olive oil
1 C of chopped yellow onion
1 1/4 T of chopped garlic
2 1/4 t ground cumin
1 1/12 t ground corriander
2 t dried Mexican oregano
1/2 t dried chipolte chile pepper or cayenne pepper (which is hotter, but chipolte is smokier)
1/2 t Kosher salt, to taste
1 28 oz can of diced tomatoes, drained well
7 C chicken stock, low sodium
1 pound, boneless, skinless chicken breast, cut into 1 inch pieces (can substitute bonless, skinless thighs for additional flavor and fat content)
1/2 medium yellow bell pepper and 1/2 medium red bell peper, stemmed seeded and cut into Julienned strips about 1 inch long and 1/4 inch wide
1 zucchini cut into 1/2 in cubes
1 15 oz can of black beans, drained and rinsed
1/2 bag of yellow or white frozen corn
2 T fresh lime juice
2 oz tequila
Crema Mexicana for swirling (about 2 T per bowl)-Could use Creme Fraiche instead
1/3 to 1/2 C fresh cilantro
2 Avocados, sliced lengthwise
Extra lime wedges for garnish and taste

Tortilla strips for garnish (Fresh Gourmet Southwestern strips, found near the croutons)

Cut the chile pepper open and then rinse it off removing the seeds and membrane and then finely chop. Set aside.

Heat the olive oil in a large heavy pot or dutch oven over medium heat. When hot add the onion and cook until softened, stirring often (4-5 minutes). Add the garlic, cook while stirring for one minute more. Add the chopped chipolte, cumin, oregano, corriander and chipolte chile pepper, stir for one minute more. Add the tomatoes and stock. Bring to simmer and cook for 10-12 minutes.

Use either a food processor or an immersion blender to puree the soup.

Bring the pureed soup back to a simmer over medium heat. Add the chicken, bell peppers, black beans, zucchini and corn and let simmer until peppers are tender and the chicken is cooked through. Stir in the lime juice, tequila and salt to taste.

Serve in bowls, swirl 2 T of Crema Mexicana on the top of each bowl. Add tortilla strips, 1/2 an avocado, cilantro and lime wedges to top of soup. Serve!

This makes four to five large servings.

And I didn't have to cook again! Thanks honey.

Options

Yesterday I got so excited about starting my new wheat-free diet that I went ahead and made my breakfast. About halfway through consuming my wonderful new concoction I remembered it was almost time to go to my yoga class. If you've ever gone to yoga class on a full stomach, you'll know why I skipped my class. You can check this link out here, if you don't know: Yoga Class Dos and Dont's.

So instead of yoga, I opted to take a walk to downtown. I had some errands to run and the sun had finally broken through. It was a bit chilly when I left, but by the time I got downtown, it was simply a magnificent day for a walk. There are always options for getting some exercise in your day. You also have to listen to your body. If your body is telling you not to do something, listen.  Our bodies are incredible, listen to what yours has to tell you. It may say to sit and do nothing or you may feel an urge to get out and run. Whatever it is, listen. You should never feel guilty if you're too tired to go to your class or if you pick the option of a walk around the neighborhood. It's all good!

Here's the recipe that kept me out of my yoga class yesterday!

Salsa Ham and Egg Scramble

1/4 cup egg substitute or one fresh egg
2 oz 97% Fat Free Honey Ham diced
Salsa (any flavor)
1/2 oz Queso Fresco Cheese-crumbled
1/4 Avocado cubed
1T Fat Free Sour Cream
Lime

Spray your skillet with Butter Flavored oil. Heat the ham in the skillet until it starts to brown. Add the salsa and push ham and salsa to one side of pan. Cook your egg. I use an egg substitute and scrambled it. You then mix it all together with the ham and salsa. Add cheese, avocado on top. Squeeze lime juice over the avocado. Top with sour cream.

To check out the diet I'm trying this week check out: What a Girl Eats Any diet that says I can eat avocados and drink wine is good by me!

I'll post a photo of this dish tomorrow, as I devoured it before I thought about writing this blog this morning.

Thai Pork and Noodle Soup

My husband and I are trying out a new way of eating this week.  Check out What a Girl Eats and take a look at the plan we are following.

This is my husband Boyd's recipe for Thai Pork and Noodle 
Soup. I'm allergic to shellfish, so he modified it to take out the fish sauce which often has shrimp in it. It fits in with our new diet. Love the rice noodles!:


Okay, here it is. This is my variation of a recipe I saw in some magazine somewhere, at some point in time. I modified it by deleting the fish sauce and replacing it with soy sauce, and using Thai rice noodles instead of sliced wonton wrappers. It makes about four servings.
2T canola oil
3 scallions, thinly slices, white and green parts separated
2 cloves chopped garlic
1 ½ T fresh ginger, chopped
1lb ground pork
½ lb shitake mushrooms, stems discarded, caps thinly sliced
4 cups low-sodium chicken broth
2 cups water
1T soy sauce
7 oz linguini style rice noodles
2T fresh lime juice, plus several wedges for serving
2 red jalapeno or anaheim chili peppers, sliced
½ cup fresh cilantro leaves.
1/2t kosher salt
¼t ground white pepper

---Put a 3 qt sauce pan ¾ full of water on high heat, and bring to a boil. Remove it from heat and put in the noodles, stir them occasionally for about 8 to 10 minutes, then drain and rinse them in cold water. Leave them in the colander until later.

---Heat the oil in a large sauce pan (I use a dutch oven) over medium- high heat. Add the scallion whites, garlic, and ginger and cook, stirring, until fragrant (about 30 seconds). Add the pork and cook, breaking it up with a spoon, until browned and cooked through (about 6-8 minutes). Add the mushrooms, salt, and pepper, and, stirring frequently, cook until the mushrooms are tender (about 2 or 3 minutes).

---Add the broth, soy sauce, and 2 cups of water and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to a simmer, add the noodles and simmer until the noodles are re-heated. Stir in the lime juice.

---Serve with scallion greens, chili peppers, and cilantro liberally sprinkled on top, and put a coupe of lime wedges as a crown.

And it took more time to write this than it takes to make the soup….so there!

Yoga in the morning...pure joy

Tried a new yoga teacher this morning. It was bliss. The class challenged me but I was able to modify. My back didn't hurt and I was glowing by the end of class. The teacher, Barbara Rose Sherman was wonderful. I will be back.

Now that my lower back is feeling better after an injury in late October, I'm feeling pain free! Been working out on the cardio machines at the gym, doing yoga in the mornings at home before I leave for work and now back to yoga classes at the Santa Barbara Yoga Studio. I love taking classes here because I can walk and most classes start as the church bells across the street are singing. Very spiritual.

I have to thank my first yoga teacher Linda Grace for the knowledge she imparted to me so I can piece together my own practice every morning. Namaste.

Deadline on...

Why is it I always need a deadline? Going to St Lucia in April, so I'm hitting the gym hard. I need to wear those cute sundresses and shorts in the hot Caribbean sun. Not very yoga like.

Maybe we need deadlines to keep ourselves accountable. I know I need motivation. Maybe I just need to start fresh each day and forgive myself when I go off track. Live in the now.  But hey, two weeks, lost 5 pounds!

Can't wait to be sitting at The Reef again sipping my cocktail and getting some rays.

This past year has been full of transitions and my exercise routine went out the window. It's always the first thing I put aside and it's the only thing I should consistently keep going.  I feel so much better when I'm exercising on a regular basis. Moving forward, forgiving myself and feeling better in the moment. Bathing suit (yikes!) here I come...

Semi-Retirement

It's all in how you look at things. I started calling us semi-retired. People ask how did you do that? Well, it's easy; I work and my husband doesn't right now and we live in a vacation destination. We just pretend to be on vacation on my off hours and that's how you become semi-retired.

In reality, my husband is out of work. His company didn't have any openings down this way, but we really want to live in Santa Barbara, so he's looking at other opportunities and we are just making things work.

When I was younger I don't think I would have taken this big of a leap of faith.  But I know everything will work out. I'm of the mind that the universe gives you signs and whatever decision you make is the right one.

Transitions

Here I am in the now. I've been away from my blog way too long. Actually, I've been hurtling through a major transition in my life since November. A new job presented itself 5 1/2 hours away from Half Moon Bay and I jumped on it.

My family and I lived on the Coastside in Half Moon Bay for the past 15 years. We raised our children there, put down roots, made friends. But the tides were pulling me back to Southern California. Family and sunshine, simply put, are what pulled me back. Our children are grown. One is in college, one has a family and career on the East Coast. Still under 50, I decided this was the time to make a change if I was going to do it. So I made the plunge, found a new job and moved to Santa Barbara.

My husband stayed behind to finish the lease on our house and tried to find a transfer within his company. He just recently arrived full-time in Santa Barbara with no transfer but a bunch of new ideas to  possibly start his own company, while looking for work. That is still playing out.

In the meantime we have downsized from a six-bedroom house to a one bedroom apartment and a 10x10 storage unit. We will be moving again in a couple of weeks to a slightly bigger two bedroom apartment. I can tell you we are sick of moving at this point and our cat is not happy with us.

Since this is my yoga blog I guess I need to tie this into my yoga practice. Let's just say my yoga practice has lapsed a bit the last 8 months. We were short money because we were paying rent on two places and we were doing a lot of commuting back and forth from Santa Barbara to the Bay area so classes were not on the table for me. Not to mention it's intimidating to me to walk into a new studio and start taking classes with teachers and students I don't know.

I did do my own home practice. It wasn't daily and not ever as long as a full class. It's hard to discipline yourself to do yoga in your living room for an hour and a half. What I did do well was keep yoga in my daily life. If I was feeling stiff at work, I'd stretch. Just doing yoga over the last couple of years has changed the way I walk and stand. I'm always checking my posture and stance. If I was stressed I'd do a mantra or do some restorative poses. Yoga is now part of me.

Over the last couple of months I started taking some yoga classes here in Santa Barbara. I've been trying out different studios and teachers. I'm coming to find out what I like and don't like. I also discovered without a teacher to guide me, I don't push myself as hard. I've lost a lot of my stamina and strength I had gained. When I left Half Moon Bay I had just started to kick myself up into a headstand. Some of that shoulder and arm strength is gone, but I'm sure it will be back soon.

More to come on my new yoga experiences here in Santa Barbara...

The actual content count of my bags...

Contents of my purse.

Contents of purse:
Phone, mints, keys, sharpie, 2 nail files, lip gloss, lipstick, sunblock, chapstick, another lip balm, neti stick, ibuprofen, another lip balm, bee sting kit, 2 prescriptions, sudefed, tampon, feminine pads (2), antacid, gum, purse hanger, mirror, measuring tape, 3 hair ties, week of receipts, wallet, extra credit cards, business card holder, Art of Sea Glass business cards, new credit card and paperwork to call it in, kleenex, eye glass case, change 1.87, 2 band aids, journal.

The total count on items in my purse was about 43 things. I didn't count each credit card or the complete contents of my wallet. Ok, really this isn't too bad. This all actually stuff I use. I just recently bought a new purse and had reorganized it. Ok so I got rid of the receipts and a couple of the chapstick things when I put it all back. But this challenge of getting things down to 100 personal items will have to include my purse as 1 item. Just saying...

Contents of my daily tote bag-yes it was scary!

Contents of my tote bag (I carry this to work with me and usually have it in my car at all times):
2 journals, book-A Year of Living Your Yoga, plastic Macy's bag with receipt in it, shoes, socks, umbrella, July and Aug receipts (91 receipts and 4 coupons-my husband made me count them), 2 expired 2 for 1 flight coupons, photo cd, 16 tampons, 12 feminine pads (what was I expecting? This was like a whole box of feminine protection LOL), gum, 2009 calendar (hmmmm-apparently I hadn't looked through the contents for awhile), 2010 calendar, 2 Bart cards, Weight Watchers folder, broken keychain with expired gym card, box of vitamins, new reading glasses that don't work, old reading glasses that don't work very well, kleenex, empty hard eyeglass holder, empty soft eye glass case, IPod, earphones, make-up pouch with toothbrush, mirror, floss, blush, 2 hair ties and emery board, extra medicine bag with allergy pills, 2 Benadryl creams (always expecting an allergic reaction to something!), nail file, antibiotic cream, Dramamine, Airborne, anti-gas pill, floss, 2 Band-Aids, pouch with business cards, giant stack of papers that included: yoga stuff, ideas, sketches, recipes, medical stuff to follow up on, 401k stuff to followup on, eye glass paperwork to get the correct reading glasses, current bills, Sea Glass festival coupons, Lab order for 2011, 2 paperclips, medical receipt, and the best thing I found was this ad (pictured below) about saying goodbye to the paper! LOL

The total count on the contents of my tote bag was at a whopping 233 things. My husband made me count all the pieces of paper and receipts I found. Ok so that was too many things. I obviously hadn't been through my bag in awhile. I did clean it out and got rid of stuff and filed what needed filing. But I didn't recount. Tote bag will have to count as 1 on my list of a 100 things. I am not getting rid of it. It's like my briefcase and survival bag. I need to add water!

This was a very interesting exercise. I plan on continuing on through my house and seeing what else I can eliminate. Not sure I will ever get down to 100 personal things but I know I can get down to 100 categories at least! It's quite an eye-opening exercise. Start with your purse or a junk drawer. Make sure you throw some stuff out!

100 Things

My boss and I went to coffee the other day and she told me about this movement she read about in the New York Times called the 100 things challenge, a grass roots kind of effort. Get your personal belongings down to 100 things. Now I would call my boss a minamalist already and even for her getting her personal belongings down to 100 things would probably be hard but if any one could do it she could. I'm continually stopping her from throwing things out at the office because yes we do need to keep those files for more than a month. My first thought to this movement is: Right! I probably have a hundred things in my purse and tote bag I carry around with me all the time, not to mention what I carry around in my car. We do live in earthquake country you know. You never know when you're going to have to be in survival mode. My purse might just save my life.

The contents of my purse and tote bag I carry with me daily. Yikes!

After pondering the concept for a couple of days it's actually very intriquing and maybe even alluring. Think about how you feel when you stay at a nice hotel. You have your essentials with you; clothes, makeup, phone, maybe a book or magazine. But you love the feeling of that clean crisp hotel room, you just want to stay there forever and go out to eat every night and explore the area you're in. You might not even have a car with you so you have to think of different ways of getting around. You don't have the burden of all this stuff to keep clean and buy and be responsible for.

This concept prompted me to make a list of 100 personal items that were essential to me. What happened when I started making the list was I started making new rules and categories of stuff on my list. My art stuff was a whole category, camera stuff, kitchen stuff was a category, medicine and first aid was a category, personal grooming, furtniture, photo albums, doll collection, my sea glass collection, my art on the wall, all my Giant's clothing counts as one thing, my books, my yoga props...sigh not an easy task.

We are very emotionally attached to our stuff. But what do we really need? As you get older you find you don't need as much. You realize you aren't going to live forever in this physical existence and you just don't need some of this stuff. You start downsizing. I keep finding things I'm just not that attached to anymore. As for those boxes of stuff in the garage that I may someday use in a new place; when I pull them down and look through them, it's either rotted or out of style or I think, "What the heck was I saving this for?"

This 100 thing challenge is an interesting exercise to look at things differently. A way to get that vacation kind of feeling all of the time. Maybe it's a way of pinpointing what your life purpose really is. What is most important in this second half of my life? How do I want to live it? What "things" do I really need to be happy? Do I need things to be happy? How much more money would I have if I lived in a much smaller place?

If we didn't have to house all our stuff, we might be able to spend our time and money on traveling or going to yoga retreats or eating out at nice places. This coming from a photographer, artist, memorablila keeper, antiques hunter and collector of many things. I hate getting rid of stuff. I still have my Barbie's and baby dolls hidden somewhere under the stairs. I still have that full set of 80's mauve and sea foam china we got as a wedding present...hmmmm I think my kids may need some new dishes and my granddaughter may need some new toys. I know I have to clean my purse out. It's a start.

What 100 personal things could you get your stuff down to? Up to the challenge?

Painting as meditation

There's something about painting colors on canvas and seeing what you can come up with that sooths my soul. Painting a fishy mural the other day with my daughter in law for the baby was at times soothing and silent and at times hilarious and joyful. We painted the grandbaby's feet purple and let her walk across the bottom of the canvas. I gave her a paintbrush and let her paint me, the canvas and herself. I stamped her little footprints on my painting pants. The sun never came out that day, but I enjoyed the muffled silence the misty fog coming down on my head surrounded me with. The giggle of my grandbaby as we tickled her tiny feet with the paintbrush. The satisfaction of creating.

Try painting your feet and walking across a canvas or piece of paper, the paint squishing between your toes. You will feel a childlike wonder.

Napping with my grandbaby

Fussy, fussy girl. No one could get her to take a nap. So I swooped her up and brought her into my room. We found a wonderful show on Nick Jr., Oobi. Puppets that are hands with eyes on them. So cute. She just cuddled in as I talked about the show and what she was seeing, no expectations. She kept looking at her hands and trying to figure out how she could make her hands talk. It was adorable. I rubbed her forhead and then she drifted off to sleep and we napped for about an hour. How delightful. Patience, calmness and a soothing voice. Sometimes you just need to kick back, take some time out to breathe and enjoy the wonder of something to relax, like trying to make your hands talk.

We can learn so much by just observing how babies live their lives...

Yoga on the Beach

My yoga teacher celebrated her birthday by having our yoga class on the beach. What a great experience. There's something about doing yoga in the sand with the sound of the ocean crashing down that is quite energizing. I did a headstand-Salamba Sirsasana and we all did half a handstand- Ardha Adho Mukha Vrksasana with a partner's help. I went beyond my comfort zone and it was exhilarating. I love going upside down!

We used the sand as our props. If we needed a bolster, we molded it out of sand. We did savasana in reclining bound angle post-Supta Baddha Konasana using the sand to lean against as we faced the ocean and felt the mist on our faces. Best savasana ever.

We also had a wonderful pot-luck brunch. Everyone brought something. It was all gluten free. Lot's of fruits and vegetables. I even had kelp chips and I loved them.

We meditated, chanted, sang and danced! I look forward to next year. Maybe we convince our teacher to this more than once a year...:)

Busy, busy, busy...

So much for posting daily. Like yoga, this too is a practice. I need to work it in to my day. I really enjoy writing but I put it on the back-burner this summer. It's been a busy one. A quick summary:

My son and his family moved in while they transition from military life back to civilian life. With a baby in the house, our lives have changed once again. We are no longer empty-nesters with extra bedrooms available for art rooms and such. It's ok my grandbaby makes up for all that! But it has changed our daily routine.

My birthday in June/Thousand Oaks/Castle Green-lots of family fun!

Our friends, Dave and Myrnie moved to Hong Kong :(

I tried a diet of Herbalife. While I was going to blog about my experience with this and my ultimate success, I ran into some snags. I may still do a post about it. I have some in my drafts that are actually quite humorous. Needless to say, I am not doing Herbalife anymore and I am back on my Weight Watchers diet. I have that final 10 pounds to lose and really thought that Herbalife would be my miracle diet. There is no such thing for WOMEN! My husband on the other hand lost almost 50 pounds in two months on the diet. I lost 3 pounds. What's up with that? Men. Geesh.

Fletcher ball workshop in July-great class. More on this later.

Went to my dad's 70th birthday. It was a great reunion of family and friends we hadn't seen in many years. I was able to sneak in a couple of yoga practices while I was there. I love that I can do yoga anywhere.

I have continued with my yoga practice, Pilate's classes and walking throughout the summer and have maintained my weight and sculpted my body into pretty good shape. My new size 8 clothing are getting too big!!!! Exercise has become a habit for me. Finally after 40 something years. Took me long enough.

Dancing

Dancing in the sun, strangers twirling next to me, swaying to the music. The sun beats down melting the rhythm into my soul. Freedom to move and be.

The Art of Yoga

Please check The Art of Yoga Project out. They are doing wonderful things for at-risk girls.

Discipline

I was watching the movie "Julie and Julia" the other night and Julie Powell's mother was questioning her on why she would undertake cooking all of Julia Child's recipes and blogging about it when no one was making her do it. Julie Powell said, "It's a discipline." While discussing it with her husband Powell said, "I'll cook my way through the Julia Child cook book and write a blog about it. I'll probably need a deadline otherwise it will be like everything else I do. Let's face it, I never finish anything."

I've been doing yoga and Pilates for a year this Sunday, May 9th and I feel like I've really accomplished something. I didn't have a deadline to meet, but I do need the discipline of going to something on a regular basis to maintain a healthy lifestyle.

What have I accomplished? I lost 23 pounds in the last year. I no longer bring frozen diet lunches to work. I have healthy leftovers from the night before. I started this blog. I'm in a size 8. I have muscle tone. I can actually see my abs. I wouldn't think twice about putting on a bathing suit in public. I learned to kayak. My knees no longer hurt. I feel good. I can do an hour Power Pilates class and then stay for the hour and half yoga class and live to tell about it. Downward Facing Dog is actually a resting pose for me now.

I made a commitment to myself to get healthy. Much in the same way that Julie Powell made a committment to write. In life you have to follow your muse. You have to follow that thing that is whispering in your ear, "this is a good idea." You might not know why at the time but you know you just have to do it. This is inspired action. The good thing about Pilates and yoga is you are never done. I don't have to "finish" anything. It's a part of my life now.

Rules

My son and his family will be moving in with us this summer as they transition from military life to civilian life. I personally can't wait to spend some time getting to know my granddaughter. But carving out room for three people to move in has not been an easy task. I'm glad I started early and have cut it into smaller pieces.

What I've discovered is we have too much stuff! This is a good time to downsize. Do we really need all those VHS tapes and electric bills from the early 80's? I found the manual for the first refrigerator we bought and the elusive instructions to the ice maker that never worked.

What I found hilarious was the manual for the refrigerator was in a file labeled, "Manuals, Rules and Warranties." My husband thought the "Rules" part was hilarious. It was written in my teenage handwriting when I started keeping my own files. There's a reason I'm in accounting! Some of the rules I found were for tennis, chess and some other board games. I was half expecting to see the rules for my life in there. He made me call my mom and ask her what the name of her file was for manuals and warranties. He figured they would be the same because we both get annoyed with those that don't follow the rules. I called her and she said it just said "Warranties." She threw the rules out long ago. I know what she means. I spent a lot of time in my early life trying to control everything and follow the rules, but find as I get older letting go of things makes life much easier.

When I go to yoga tonight I'm going to try and let go of not being able to do the poses perfectly and just let my body feel the benefits I do get from it. It's not always physical. Letting go of being perfect and not always following the rules lets you be yourself. It's called practing yoga for a reason. As in life, practicing anything prepares you for whatever is to come. Practicing yoga in all aspects of my life makes me whole. Thinning out our paperwork and belongings will allow more room for other things to happen in our space and life.

Namaste.

Success

Maybe it just comes with age and experience, but at some point you don't give a damn what anyone else thinks. If everyone would just be happy within themselves, there wouldn't be all the problems in the world. I just fear that we wait until we're much older to have this attitude.

I just recently wrote up my "success" story for the Studio 4 Pilates newsletter about losing 23 pounds after I joined as a member. One of my classmates thought of me and my success story when her friend wanted to start exercise but felt she couldn't do yoga because she was overweight. My yoga teacher asked what prompted me to finally start an intense exercise program? I said the bathroom scale, weight, sore knees, but the question kept mulling over in my head as I lay in savasana that night in yoga. It really was more than just losing weight because my knees hurt. It goes back to having major surgery a few years ago to have my thyroid removed and completely going through a metamorphosis. Maybe you'd call it a mid-life crisis. Whatever it was, I know myself deeper than I ever have before. Losing my thyroid helped me become comfortable with who I am, inside and out. A major change can make you take a totally different path. And you also have a choice in how you deal with that change; whether positively or negatively.

It took several years of exploration, but I'm at the right place now, physically, mentally, spiritually. My life feels balanced. So when my yoga teacher asked what prompted me to take on yoga and Pilates and lose weight, it was more than the scale and aching knees. It was the culmination of my lifetime of experience and dealing with a major crisis in my life to finally have everything make sense. Knowing that if I don't take this one little pill every day or I would be dead within 30 days really made me rethink everything. Don't wait until that moment when you can't turn back, take on life now. You never know what the next moment holds. The greatest adventure of your life happens now.

Frank Jude Boccio and Yoga Journal offers some ideas for a change-friendly inner life:

"Every morning, repeat a gatha (mindfulness verse): 'Great is the matter of birth and death; impermanence surrounds us. Be awake each moment; do not waste your life.' Life doesn't give you breathing room, but if you stop grasping for control of the uncontrollable, you can learn to breathe through it all."

Kayaking-Taking Things On

My husband looked out into the ocean with trepidation and turned to me and said, "You really want to do this?" He knows that I'm not a fan of being in the water and especially getting into the ocean and he is not a fan of exercise. Paddling really didn't seem that appealing to him. But my mind was set. I really wanted to get in a kayak and see things you can't see from the shore. I want to kayak to beaches you can't get to normally or float alongside the whales. Or take photos from a completely different perspective.

Finally past the repressed memories of my sister falling overboard from a raft when we were little. She almost drowned and my dad saved her. Throughout my childhood I thought it was me that it happened to. A traumatic event witnessed and repressed into my head. When I met my husband several decades ago, I told him I was afraid of the water because I fell out of a raft and almost drown. My family heard the story and said it wasn't you, it was your sister. I really had taken it on that it was me, although my mind knew it was my sister all along. It's taken me a couple of decades to get over that and through it. I actually swam in the Caribbean a couple of years ago and now I'm kayaking. What's next? Maybe I'll actually swim underwater again. :)

It was very empowering for me to know I had the strength and stamina to get in that kayak and paddle through waves and out into the bay exploring sea caves. I've never felt such adventure and excitement. It's about time!

Practicing yoga and Pilates on a regular basis and focusing on my health has opened new paths for me. To have my body strong and healthy has opened my mind to new possibilities. The spiritual side of yoga has helped me with visualizing those things I want to do and then taking that inspired action and doing them.